giving up........

much has happened after wat i posted previously......the response i got was totally not something i expected.....perhaps its myself for being such an A-HOLE writing the wrong stuff......i dunno.....



no matter wat i write or say it can nvr please everyone or anyone....i have nvr been able to do that....not even now....cause i am someone not very good with words....i am not trying to gain sympathy or anything here....this has been a place where i can always let out my feelings of frustration....happiness.....sadness.....so perhaps this is the only place where i can write without a care for wat the whole world happened outside......here is only abt me....



lots of thoughts going through me right now....work.....life....family.....friends.....love.......i have sacrificed alot....for all this.....sometimes i really think izzit worth it fighting so hard???i am forever lost somewhere in space with questions, conflicts, problem, more problems.........why cant i be born in a better well off family.....not that i am saying i mind my parents its just a thought...i love both of my parents alot....

frm my mentor i've learnt alot...."if not having a regretful past, how to know wat is a good future", i am someone who always in my mind feels regretful of things i haven or not being able to do due to my limits...i wish i can do this, i wish i can do that, how i wish i have the ability to help her more, how to make someone love u more or be able to let the person see wat u are trying to actually show to that person or anyone.......but thinking sometimes....so wat if they understand....are things gonna change?perhaps yes....perhaps no.....in my cases....mostly no......things nvr change......they remain the same....the result is always the same.....conclusion???------I ALWAYS SCREW UP

even till today.....i can speak well....i can converse well....but sometimes using the wrong method, i screwed up.....but hey!who doesnt make mistakes? nobodys perfect.....if there is this perfect person.......i dun think there even exist such a person......

take a bow....

achieved wat i been trying to do....

with "that" i am gone....

time to take a bow....

and say good bye........

past is past

once, there was these two monks, one old monk and a young monk who just joined the temple, they were talking a stroll until they reach this river which was about knee level high, there was no bridge, nor was there any way to cross the river other den walking in the water itself.

just den a beautiful young lady with a long dress appeared, not wanting to become a wet duck herself as she is attending a high class dinner soon she asked politely whether any of the monks can carry her across the river, but u see monks are not suppose to touch the opposite sex at all, just when the young monk was contemplating the old monk said,

"let me carry u across"

with that they proceeded on with the monk carrying her like how one carry ur lover, and across the river they go....once past the river the monk let her down gently and with that the young lady saying her thanks she went her way and the monks carried on with their walking.....all the while from the moment the old monk volunteered to carry, the young monk was thinking

"how can he carry her?!?!he is breaking the rules as a monk, even if so is let me young strong man carry ma, sides she is pretty!"

with that he held that thought for the last 5 hrs going through that thought over and over and over again....finally halfway through he could'nt bear it anymore and said in a very angry manner

"how can u carry that lady just now???u know its not right!i am the more young one i shld be carrying!"

the old monk turned around and simply said

"its been 5 hrs already and u still carry the lady, while i already put her down 5 hrs ago already :)"
_____________
to whom is reading this, u know who u are

(re-edited as it cause some misunderstanding)

let me put it simply.....leave the past behind and look forward ba.....

i didnt know anything cause u

changed ur blog, kailin nvr tell me

she dunno whether u wan me to know

about ur blog changed

你终于还是离开了我的身边，跟你的每个回忆我会好好收藏的：我爱你

any takers?

lets get drunk over the weekend!!!!

anyone wanna go???

any takers?????

hahahaha..............

enjoy wats left in this life........

你终于还是离开了我的身边，跟你的每个回忆我会好好收藏的：我爱你

no one will know how much i hide inside

with me....all the pain, sadness, agony

of u not by my side anymore....i am just

lying to myself.....and everyone