As Hazy

today also feeling very down.....much way down den usual.....yesterday tried to call her...but she didnt ans...i left her a voicemail, hmmm.....wonder did she even hear it anot....after that juz feel so freaking depressed....wanted to go to fren's house but he on duty, amazingly i went to contact Mr cheng.....perhaps afterall his the only one who can give me really gd advice....besides i didnt wan anyone else to see me at that state, haha.....ride halfway suddenly vision blurred yet it wasnt raining....lol....the feeling is so strong that it hurtz juz to think that we will soon become nothing, not even frens at all.......i guess i juz have to face the ending of losing someone else again after 3 yrs....nothing has changed......NOTHING
heard this song yesterday by Lin Zhi Xuan the title is called Shu Le Ni, Ying Le Shi Jie You Ru He, its so true to me right now....

当我默默黯然回首
当我看尽潮起潮落
朦胧之间
仿佛我又看见你的脸
依然带着淡淡忧愁的双眼
忽隐忽现
就当全是一场梦
不必演是我的错
无奈的苦笑不必找牵强的理由
就让它日日夜夜刺痛我胸口
让我眼神没有焦点
泪水模糊我的视线
输了你 赢了世界又如何
你曾渴望的梦
我想我永远不会懂
我失去你
赢了一切确依然如此冷清
有谁又能让我倾心
除了你
你我之间
难道没有剩下一点点
一点曾经刻骨铭心的眷恋
让你挂念
我只能说如今我已无处可躲
当我默默黯然回首
当我看尽潮起潮落

i wish to spent my ongoing every moment with her....very second every min, my ups and downs, like wise i also wished to be there for her every sec and mins....but i guess its not possible......once again i shouldnt had put my hopes so high......guess this is the hard fall i get as an end result....